S. P. Bailey

. P. Bailey {[email protected]} watched a game show called “Double Dare” back in the ’80s. Rather than answer difficult questions, contestants could declare: “I’ll take the physical challenge!” Physical challenges generally involved taking a pie in the face or having copious amounts of green slime poured over one’s head. S. P. Bailey wishes life had a “I’ll take the physical challenge!” option. Boss giving you a hard time? Don’t want to take that test? Need to discipline a difficult child? Spouse reasonably concerned about something? Just take the physical challenge! S. P. Bailey resides in Utah with his wife and kids. He practices law in Utah and Idaho. He is the author of Millstone City and The Mission Rules, and his works have also appeared in Fire in the Pasture and Monsters & Mormons. His homemade author vanity website: spbailey.net

Articles

Letters to the Editor

No Crusades Thanks for your hard work and dedication. I realize that the current atmosphere of conservatism and orthodoxy can sometimes be frustrating for those of us who need to ask questions for which there…

Where We Lay Our Scene

Her ticket is at will-call. She needs no help finding their seats, but Tom repeatedly cranes his neck to check the doors at the back of the hall. He likes it when she emerges from…

Triptych: Plural

I Nora bears the tray of hors d’oeuvres she spent three hours this afternoon preparing. Mushroom caps stuffed with chopped and sauteed artichoke hearts, onion, garlic, bread crumbs, and three cheeses. She approaches the door;…

Sisyphus

The escalator broken again
We climb the adjacent stairs
In wingtips and houndstooth slacks.
I peer into the guts of the silent machine.

Ripple Rock

This is where my mind wanders,
Behind this desk, bathed in soft
Monitor light. This is where
I levitate, oscillate, and glide

For Margene

The intensive care unit had never seen such a hostess
How was the show? And what did they serve?
We brought her primary stew
A fresh fruit bouquet

About Half

“How much time do you spend gardening?”
I say—
My back fence neighbor’s eyes are placid, patient
Riddled with cataracts, half blind

What Kind of Monster

What kind of monster spits a wad of gum in a urinal?
Blue. Brain-folded.
Pregnant with identifying evidence.
DNA. Marks from teeth

Even Manna

Even manna stops tasting sweet
after so many plates
I said to the Christmas ham,
endlessly succulent,