Articles/Essays – Volume 59, No. 3
Flux of Conversation
Yet again through this house like a mountain stream
chatter has run down the pine-framed vistas
each landing’s distinctive prospect of Tahoe
pressed flat by early August heat
to the conversation pool
at last almost drained of guests.
All afternoon like a young girl in a creek
enchanted by its babbling
and, in order for the current to flow freely
with a word here, a word there
to this person or that, arranging stones
adjusting little logs to make eddies
so you’ve played with us.
You like these metaphors, don’t you, that sink us into nature.
“We’re sun worshipers,” you used to say.
But also: “If only the gospel excited me like the Beatles excite me
I might really do something.” This to us as if
as if poverty qualified confessors
as if guilt fashioned the perfect wife
perfect hostess comparing notes on old friends, kids, and yes,
grandkids
running smooth or wild.
And so today: “But for me now it’s just a matter of getting
the inside to correspond with the outside.”
Confess—confess that you’re still stuck here
in this beautiful house, never locked,
shaped not for envious show but rather quite unknowingly
to shape you, nature contra nature, mind eroding mind
as if matter could teach morals.
Life of flowing water, reconciling energies
dissolving obstacles, architecture murmuring to itself
in banks
dams
cascades
shaping
and shaped
releasing, restraining, to avoid needless destruction
but the morality, the intelligence, of a stream, not of a
canal
or a
cattle
chute
much less the cultured discipline of fields
and rigid tree plantations, forcing life
into a fearful frozen symmetry
and regularity of rhythms, framed
in lineaments of compromised desire
that desperately strains against the cage:
“As for living, our children will do that for us.”
Or are those rhythms really
trance-inducing drumbeats
thrusts of love?
So the flood falls, rolling toward Tahoe, big water calling
boiling vapors breathing toward the sun
thundertalk rising over Rubicon Peak.
Don’t tell me you can’t hear it—the ill-mannered jeremiads:
How many innocents saved from inquisition?
How many false friends lost?
How many times excommunicated for conscience’ sake?
How many times crucified for another’s sins?
Yes, the cycle is beginning again, deathly sublimation
cumulonimbus billowing as if
from a thousand burning houses.
and you have to say something.
And these houseless naked locals, what shall they do?
Dig deep, ground squirrels, slant upslope marmots
your wretched tunnels, downpour coming—
time to go before cloudburst hail and washed-out roads cut us off too.
We’ll talk again, compare our answers maybe
after the walls fall down, the air clears, and all spills happily on
sinking toward desolation, watering alkali flats
the rejected places—and the boulder-rolling pelt-penetrating
ungovernable torrent destined never to reach the sea
has washed away the good as well as evil

