Articles/Essays – Volume 42, No. 2
A Shaker Sister’s Hymnal
Come Life, Shaker Life
The frost grows fierce upon the pane,
crystals cluster in tight geometry. Inside my
glove my fingers freeze. I gasp the cold until I
am dumb: until my eyes are arctic marbles
rolling blue and plumb in their sockets: until
my leaden tongue sinks in my mouth.
The moon cracks above my head. It is the
aspen wood-shaven splinter by which I see. I
work beauty on the windows of sleeping
Sisters. With sticks I scrawl trees and leaves,
ferns and bees, stars and stalactites.
I work all night, my mind a-glitter with
unearthly sight. Ice crystals splay into arches
and doorways, turrets and towers, bridges
and bowers. I have come at last to God’s
garden gate.
An oil lamp inside seems the warm glow of
heaven. It beckons me on in my wild, flower
tracings. And above I see the winged angels
racing, on stars interlacing, their wings afire
as they fling themselves against the sky.
* * *
My spine freezes. I draw the salty crescents
large, with small, furry stars. They imbibe the
moon’s hard, white glow.
Inside my boots my toes are numb, I am
unable to step once the mural is done. As I
stumble to bed the horizon brings the
revelation of day, a prophecy of bread:
I will work with my bones. I will grind the wheat. I
will build and atone; bread alone will I eat. On
each stone I will write “Hallowed be Thy name.” I
will not seek earthly fortune or gain.
* * *
I Want to Gather Down
The winter bleeds, and freezes, and all with it.
Godspeed could not overtake it. In all God’s
goodness, could he not give us endless
springs, chased with rain? Towers of
foxgloves for bees to roam?
Still, there are little gifts. In the sunlit kitchen
I knead and knead in the kinetic posture my
knuckles make. I inhale the yeast and red
cracked wheat; their scents mingle, becoming
heavenly meat.
I share this meat with all I see—farmers
hauling loads of grain, beggars dressed in
threadbare robes, children on a lumbering
wain—hags, thieves, harlots, rogues.
* * *
With the sun overhead, I pick weeds of pain.
They grow profusely in the kitchen garden.
They suffocate seeds with their greedy brown
roots and sap the sunlight from other fruits.
Yet, apples prosper in the orchard. I walk
among this world of trees. Ladders stand
stark in the morning mist, awaiting the
eventual hum of bees. Dewdrops glisten on
the apples’ skin; all reflect the glow within.
I lift my firkin and ascend a ladder, the
crooked ladder by the pond. The wooden
rungs ring and echo; the earth resounds with
heaven’s beat. But as I climb, my firkin grows
weighty. I can no longer lift my feet.
My woolen dress hangs heavily. I am but a
bony rack for clothes. My heart is hard and
full of dread. My feet are rooted in the earth.
My heart is rooted in the body of my birth. I
feel the tug of heavenly traces but cannot
move.
* * *
The Burning Day
The Sabbath dawns with quiet fire. I inhale
its pale, blue light. Angels press in around my
bed, their gowns glowing amber bright.
By degrees, the sun increases. I rise and walk
through burnished halls.
Piles of light cram into corners and jam my
chamber door. I lift my limbs into a porcelain
tub. The sun’s hot rub ribs my skin into
brilliant, scaly furrows.
* * *
Outside, leaves are lit on tree-like pyres.
Windowpanes ripple and fold under the
bold, bright heat. The floorboards warp
wood flares and tears itself into dusty curls.
I gather these ashes in my palm; they flicker
gray and golden red.
I feel an incorporeal flame within. It burns
outward, consuming eyes, hair, flesh, and
skin. My mind melts. It has become a globe of
purest glass, annealed with wisdom by godly
blast.
* * *
Who Will Bow and Bend like the Willow
As I walk to meeting across the grass, angels
alight on windows and eaves. They are
hymning and praising and comforting the
bereaved.
Behind me I feel the airy shuffle, hear the
woolen ruffle, sense the white presence of
vanished Brothers and Sisters.
With an echoing crack I stumble on the
granite meetinghouse stoop.
* * *
Under the cerulean ceiling we stand, like
spires, until a single voice rings out the
hollow lo-lodle-lodle-lodle-lo-lodle-lo.
Now the spires start to move. We stomp our
soles with ringing clomp as we slowly pace in
circular pairs.
The floor quakes as the room shakes. I labor
and clap, march and sing. I hear the beat of
angels’ wings.
I traverse the verse of every song. Swept
along by movement and voice, I whirl and
bend in vision’s currents, strong.
* * *
Pleasant Walk
The room revolves as the sky dissolves; my
bodily sense has long been spent. A new
landscape appears—a veil is rent—and I see a
world beyond the ken of human eyes.
A towering mulberry tree appears; its leaves
are cross-wise intertwined. Beneath the tree a
table stands, with exotic fruit, delicate wine. I
sit at the table and drink until it spills from
my lips.
Straightway I see a dwelling place, peerless in
its form and grace. Within, angels give me
garments new and present me with fine
trinkets—colored balls and jeweled boxes—
not a few.
Here spirits dance in union sweet. Between
them I see a staircase rise. It spirals and
spirals toward unseen skies. A rushing wind
flies from its heights and sweeps me,
breathless, to its clime.
The universal star shines above; its amber
light suffuses sight. My feet are led from step
to step. Below me dwellings constellate,
forming a geometric homestead.
A gold gate gleams ahead; Sisters and
Eldresses await me there. With joyous shouts
they urge me on, guiding me with eager care.
I stretch and reach to touch their hands but
cannot shake my earthly bands.
Sudden mists cloud my eyes, and I fall
through the hands of the dead.
* * *
I’m on My Way to Zion
The autumn sky dies in purple silk, while the
moon wanes scarlet, saffron, and pearl. A
clock is ticking on the wall, like the ringing
echo of soft footfalls.
My painted floor is grooved and worn from
nights of marching, treading thorns. Yet lines
of copper nails still shine—small stars planted
in the pinewood.